Seven classifications are currently active. Six are pending standard deliberation. One is under special review following circumstances the Bureau is not yet prepared to describe publicly. Findings will be issued when the panel is satisfied. Satisfaction is not guaranteed on any particular timeline. It is especially not guaranteed with respect to sardine.
Pending — 6 Cases
Finding 004
Pending
Opened Oct 2024
Halibut
Hippoglossus spp.
Appears to be a fish. Large, flat, lives in the ocean. No significant concerns have emerged during assessment. Deliberation is proceeding out of thoroughness, not doubt.
Expected resolution: Q2 2025. The panel considers this a formality.
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Finding 005
Pending
Opened Oct 2024
Sardine
Sardina pilchardus
Pending. The panel has feelings about sardine. Those feelings are documented in the case file. Classification will be completed professionally regardless. The outcome will reflect evidence, not feelings.
Expected resolution: Undetermined. We are in no hurry.
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Finding 006
Pending
Opened Nov 2024
Salmon
Salmo salar
Salmon is a fish. Everyone knows salmon is a fish. We are doing the paperwork. The delay is entirely administrative and reflects no ambiguity about salmon's status.
Expected resolution: Q1 2025.
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Finding 007
Pending
Opened Nov 2024
Mahi-Mahi
Coryphaena hippurus
The name required consideration before assessment could formally begin. Assessment has since begun. The panel's initial observations are consistent with fish classification.
Expected resolution: Q3 2025.
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Finding 008
Pending
Opened Dec 2024
Swordfish
Xiphias gladius
Has a sword. The sword is part of its face. An internal memo was issued. The memo has been resolved. Classification is proceeding. The sword does not affect classification outcome.
Expected resolution: Q4 2025. The memo situation is closed.
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Finding 009
Pending
Opened Sep 2024
The Unnamed Item
Unknown — Tip #47
Submitted via tip line. Has fins. Also has something the panel is still in the process of characterizing. More time has been requested. The submitter has been informed. The something is not a leg. Probably.
Expected resolution: Unknown.
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Under Review — 1 Case
Finding 010
Under Review
Opened Nov 2024
Whatever That Was
Unknown — Tip #83
Classification is suspended pending return of a panel member who requested leave following review of the submitted photograph. The Bureau is not prepared to describe the photograph. The Bureau asks that individuals refrain from submitting follow-up tips regarding this case.
Resolution timeline: Unknown. The panel member is expected to return.
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